My feet were planted on to the concrete sidewalk as I looked up at the high school in front of me. This was the cause and the center my nightmares orbited around. Everything I feared, planned, and trained almost 3 years for was inside that school. Was I really ready to face everyone? What if they all knew who I was? Then my plan wouldn’t work, and I would have done all that hard work for notta,Vibram Fiver Finger Shoes, zip, zilch, nothing. I took in a deep breath.
Just breathe Madeline. You have this in the bag. Just don’t freak out.
I built up momentum as I marched up the stairs proudly with my head held high. I pushed the doors open to face a large hallway full of my peers. Some were in groups huddled around each other talking, there were a few couples leaned against lockers making out, and some were collecting their supplies for their first period class.
But as soon as the double doors behind me slammed shut, it was like they all stopped what they were doing and directed their attention towards me. For a brief moment I felt an overwhelming feeling to barf, but as soon as that feeling started, it subsided and was replaced with confidence. I marched down the hallway, demanding everyone’s eyes to follow me, and that is exactly what happened. Instead of feeling self-conscious, it was like all of a sudden my jeans weren’t tight enough and my shirt wasn’t cut low enough.
I walked into the main office and saw a tall, middle-aged woman sitting at a desk at the entrance. Her dark black hair was sleek and cut right at her jaw line. She looked up from her computer and tipped down her glasses, glancing at me.
“May I help you, miss?” She asked in a bland voice.
“Yes, I am new at this school and I need all my information for the year.” I asked as sweet and polite as possible.
“Name?” She looked at her computer screen and was preparing to type.
“Madeline Wallace.” She typed on the keys vigorously.
“Twelfth grade, correct?” I nodded. She paused and moved her mouse around and clicked a few things. I then heard the shrill of the printer in the back. She slowly got up from her seat and disappeared into the back room, returning a minute later with some papers.
“Your classes and locker number are on the first page, second page contains your parking information, and the last page is the school year calendar.” She gave me a forced smile.
“Thank you,” I smiled and nodded.
The first period bell had already rung. So when I went back into the main hallway, it was like a ghost town. I surveyed the first page while walking. Glancing over my classes and such.
Biology first, huh? Room one eighteen.
I stopped in my tracks to glance up at the room to my left.
Ahh, one eighteen.
I swooshed my long blonde hair around and corrected my posture before walking in. The teacher was saying something about how she wouldn’t have a lesson plan till the end of the week. My presence made her stop and turn her head towards me. Curious to what interrupted their teacher, the students followed her stare. She gave me a warm smile.
“Hello dear, you must be the new student.” I returned her warmth and let out a shy yes ma’am. She waved me over and directed me to stand by her. “Why don’t you tell us your name and where you are from?”
“Well,” I started, “My name is Madeline and I just moved here from Ecuador.”
“That’s interesting!” The teacher gushed, “Were you born there or?” I shook my head.
“We moved there are few years ago, my mom volunteered her services as a doctor.” She grasped her hands together.
“Well isn’t that just wonderful! We need more people like your mother in this world,” she laid her hand out, palm up, like she was showing me something. “You can take a seat next to Mr. Hughes.
My heart stopped for a moment as I heard that name, I turned my head and there he was. His hair was short, dark brown, and messy. His emerald eyes were scanning me like I was a piece of meat, completely opposite of how he use to. Physically,Vibram Shoes, I looked clam. But on the inside, I was over flowing with rage. There he was.
My target.
It was like the beginning of my freshman year was just yesterday. I use to be the token ‘fat kid’ of my class. I had a horrible out break of pimples all along my face, but luckily, my coke bottle glasses helped divert the attention from my acne. I had my mother’s blonde hair died black and very short. And to top it all off, I had braces all along my teeth. The only thing decent about me was my eyes. The outside of my eyes was a darker grey, as it goes more towards the iris it turns to a light blue. My father had the same haunting eyes.
I was terribly shy and severely self-conscious. Very few acknowledged my existence, which is how I preferred it. I knew when I was in the center of attention, I was the base of people’s thoughts, and I would imagine their thoughts weren’t too flattering.
I managed to stay out of the limelight, until Cooper Hughes transferred from a near by school to ours my 8th grade year. He was the crush of every middle school girl, and since he had all the girls, all the guys wanted to hang out with him. He took over the school in as little as one week. So when I became the center of his cruel jokes and comments, I was also the center of everyone else’s. It had all started when I had bumped into him in the lunch line. He said that one line that would be later used as my main source of ‘thinsporation’.
“Whoa there Big Bertha! Let us get our food before you start helping yourself. There won’t be any left for us!” Laughs echoed all through out the cafeteria. After that, I never went back to the cafeteria that year. I always went to the bathroom, and waited for it to be over.
But soon it began in the classrooms, the halls, and even outside of school. Everywhere I went I was being tormented. The only safe place I had was at home, and even there my mother was always pushing the ‘get healthy’ subject. She wasn’t trying to be mean about it. She was just concerned for my health. I inherited most of my mother’s traits, but I was built like my father. She didn’t want me to end up like him, and having a heart attack at 35. He didn’t make it.
She also had a concern for my brother, but for different reasons; he is 11 years younger than me. He has my father’s black hair and my mothers amber eyes along with her metabolism. He was going to a special preschool for the hearing impaired at the time.
I begged my mother every day not to send me back to school, but I always got the same response.
“You can’t just not go back,Cheap Coach Bags! You have to learn to stand your ground.” And I knew that wasn’t an option. It would just make things worse.
By the end of the year, I was known as Big Bertha. Even the teachers called me Bertha, not to be mean, but because they didn’t know my real name. But through it all, I managed to survive 8th grade year. Summer may have been a small bit better, but I couldn’t enjoy it. I wouldn’t go out of the house. My few select friends (or friend) came over to see me; I wouldn’t get out in the pool in fear someone would see. And I just sat inside and ate my pain and stress away. Which only caused me to gain more weight.
When I went back to school, I was officially a freshman. I was now opened to the rest of the high school (8th grade was kept in a separate hallway) and I felt like a sitting duck during duck season. Now I had to worry about another 3 grades picking on me too. I thanked god every day for only putting me in one class with Cooper. But on the third day of school, it when the most embarrassing thing happened.
When I arrived to 3rd period. There was what looked like cut outs of a magazine stuck to my desk. When I got closer and started to observe. In the middle there was a big picture of my face, and it had a huge, glued, open mouth pasted over mine and my head was combined with the body of Buddha. There was a piece of cake traveling in my mouth. Then the rest of the clippings that surrounded it was advertising weight loss pills, exercise machines, and diets. Everyone was laughing. The teacher even let out a snicker. Even though my eyes started to water, I refused to let them see me cry. It took everything I had not to, but I forced my way out of the giggling classroom.
I was quickly walking down the hallway when a laugh in the empty hallway. I looked up and stopped. There stood Cooper with the biggest smile plastered on his face. I forced myself to hold back my emotions. He walked towards me and stood within 2 two feet of my reach. He started laughing. Anger boiled in my veins.
“What is so funny?!” I yelled. He just gave one last hardy laugh.
“You,” he simply said. I burrowed my eyebrows. “I do have a question though, why are you getting so worked up over something you know is true? Do you really not know that you are fat?” My face softened as he continued. “Why get upset over the truth?”
“Because,” I searched for something to say, “Even though I know it, it’s still hard to cope with without someone rubbing it in.” He shook his head.
“If you don’t like it, maybe you should drop two hundred pounds. No one will ever want a fat girl. Especially one with a pizza face, owl eye glasses, and a metal mouth. No one will be there to hold your hand when you go into cardiac arrest.” It was like he hit a reflex, and before I even knew what happened. I heard a ‘pop’ echo in the empty corridor.
I had slapped him.
“Up yours Cooper.” I said as I walked past him towards the bathroom. He turned around angrily.
“Just wait till you show your ugly face here tomorrow. You will regret being born!” He yelled as I went into the bathroom. I hid in a stall and called my mother.
I told her what happened all the way home. She finally felt sympathy, and enough of it to get me away from this place. After she picked my brother up, she made the announcement that she was pulling us out of school and moving to Ecuador early and that I would we home schooled. I had never been so happy in my short, entire life.
Those next few years living and volunteering in Ecuador, I started losing weight from where I just lived off of fish and rice. On top of that I was hiking and swimming almost every day. Once I had lost 30 pounds. I had a little bit of a struggle,Beats By Dre, so mom ordered prescription diet pills and would go to the nearest city to retrieve them. I started running and doing exercises to tone my muscles. In all I had lost 100 pounds those three years in South America.
My ‘thinsporation’ was constantly hearing that first statement that Cooper had said to me in my mind, and knowing when I returned I was going to make him feel sorry. When I returned the summer before my senior year, I went to an eye doctor and stalked up on contact lenses. My acne had subsided by it’s self. I also bought make up,Fiver Finger Shoes, and some extremely cute clothes from stores that I have always wanted to shop at. I finally felt confident enough to wear clothes that I always thought were too good for me. For once I felt comfortable in my own skin. My legs, arms, and my stomach were now toned. But my favorite was my stomach, you could see the outline of my abs, and I had the slight slope that I had only ever seen in magazines. My amazing figure had a dark completion due to almost constant sun exposure while living on the equator. My hair had grown all the dark color out and was now blonde and went a little past my mid back. It had a natural wave to it, which I loved. To add a little eye appeal, I went to a local hair salon and got some bleach highlights.
And now, here I am. Taking a seat next to Cooper Hughes. With my dark wash skinny jeans that had a few select rugged holes, a plain white v-neck, and my red toms. I was as confident as ever. I was ready to reel him in and break his tiny, little, cold, withered heart.
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